End of the pity parade

I’m not going to feel sorry for myself anymore.

Just this morning I was sharing with two of my friends how I wish I was “better” – I wish I had more skills, had more going for me, had an “x factor”.  And I was honestly really upset about it.  I felt like the Queen of average: not considerably smart or stupid, not considerably funny, not exceptional, not pretty etc.  Honestly, even writing out these insecurities makes me cringe because it’s such wayward thinking.  Long pitiful story short, I truly believed that God didn’t have much in store for me because I wasn’t much – destined to be average. Hence the pity party.

This evening I watched “Nefarious” a documentary about sex slavery.  It followed a team of people who were discovering how sordid the sex trafficking industry was and how far it extended. Towards the end of the film, there was a gripping portion where two women who were prostituted for 10-30 years shared about their encounters with God.  The two shared how they were convinced that they were hopeless: utterly defeated and ashamed by the laundry list of their acts as prostitutes.  At points close to death, they each encountered God.  They both described this feeling of being completely seen by God (all of their past deeds) and being completely loved and accepted.  God did not condemn them and He set for them a life of freedom and purpose.  After decades of being convinced that they were nothing and “too far gone” – God found them, saved them and showed them the worth they had always had.

God makes no mistake.  He makes His sons and daughters with love, hope and purpose.  One of Satan’s greatest feats is to convince us that we are unloved, hopeless and without a purpose.  We’re captive to the lies that we are not enough.  And in the sea of our self-pity, we spend an inordinate amount of time on ourselves and miss out on the call to love our neighbors, to  “look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” (James 1:27)

There is far too much going on in the world that is against God’s heart for His sons and daughters.  We need to stand in the gap, pray for God’s justice and rule to come and heal our land, and do whatever it is He calls us to do.

I’m not going to feel sorry for myself anymore.

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1 comment
  1. Angie L said:

    I heard someone recently say that before we’re Christians, Satan tells us that we good enough as is and we don’t need God. Then after we become Christians, he tells us that we aren’t good enough for God. It’s a curious thing how he attacks us.

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